Simply typing the title of the game sends a chill of wonder and mystery coursing through my veins. That cold feeling that's not unlike that cold feeling of having ice water injected into your veins. You know...cold. And coursing. After that thrill escapes me, I suddenly realize that I can't really write that well.

Guitar Hero is brilliance embodied in a hard plastic lightweight guitar controller that's something of a replica of a black Gibson SG. It's lightweight because Awesome is somewhere in the neighborhood of the weight of helium. I'll bet you didn't know that.

Guitar Hero is, in case you didn't know, one of those fancy new rhythm-based video games. They all contain the same basic game mechanic: watch the icons hit the line, and press the corresponding button along with the beat. It's the variations of WHEN to hit the buttons and HOW you hit the buttons that make each individual game a unique experience. In Guitar Hero's case, this is done by the aforementioned guitar controller. It's like playing a real guitar, except totally not.

A word of warning: if you're going to try to run the game from the PS2's browser, you're going to need to plug in a regular controller to access it. The SG has its left D-Pad control set to always be "on", which means it'll endlessly scroll through all the different options. I think the game uses this to determine whether or not you have a guitar controller plugged in. Or it's just funny. Try playing Burnout! Watch the hilarity! By hilarity I mean incorrectly calibrated controls. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's funny because that's what the controller does!!

Once the game begins, you can watch some tutorials, start a career, or jump right on in with the Quick Play option. Having previous experience with Guitar Freaks, I decided to skip Easy mode. I chose the Quick Play thing, set it to "Hard," chose "Smoke on the Water," and ended up humiliating myself in front of the cartoony 3D-rendered guy with the mohawk. Maybe I'd better start slow, I thought. Maybe I'd better start Medium.

I started a career, named the band "School of Rock" (lame) and chose--sorry--"Smoke on the Water." There was a little bit of an introduction thingy, and then this fretboard started moving towards me. It was kind of like watching the road when you're in a car except with colored circles moving towards you that replace that enveloping feeling of total doom. Am I the only one that feels that way? Maybe it's all the dangerous left turns I'm forced to make every day. Maybe it's my reckless driving.

This isn't about driving, this is about Guitar Hero. Which is a lot more fun. And, at the rate gas prices are going, probably cheaper! Ha ha ha ha ha! It's funny because gas is really expensive!!

Songs on the Medium difficulty range anywhere from laughably easy (I don't care how many people like the Ramones. "I Wanna Be Sedated" is one of the simplest songs of all time.) to the pinky-achingly difficult (I'll bark at YOUR moon, "Bark at the Moon"), and that's not even covering the Bonus Songs. That's right, there's Bonus Songs. And some of them are pretty good.

The songs in the game are mostly cover songs. That makes sense; you play guitar in a cover band, after all. The covers pretty much all rock, despite the poor imitations of some of the vocals. WhatEVER. Who said vocals were important to music?! Oh, right, everybody. Well everybody can shut up, because this isn't "Vocal Hero". That doesn't even sound right. As it shouldn't, because everyone knows the true rock stars of rock stardom are the guitarists.

As you go on, you'll eventually want to try out Hard mode. Hard mode is like Medium mode, except harder. It also makes use of the fifth, slightly more orange fret button on the neck of the guitar that's been hanging there uselessly all throughout Medium mode. "Oh, please, won't you touch me?" "No, fret button, because if I do then I'll break my 4x multiplier which I've been saving up to use with my Star Power technique." "You are a big jerkface! We're through! I never want to see you again! Stop calling me! I want all my CDs back! I want half of the gifts we received at our wedding!"

I'm sorry, I got a little carried away.

Star Power is an awesome experience that basically doubles your multiplier for a small duration based on "Star Energy" you extract by playing notes that are shaped like stars. Pretty boring, right? NO IT'S NOT BORING YOU GUITAR HEATHEN. When you accumulate enough star power, you get to ROCK OUT.

AND BY ROCK OUT I MEAN YOU GET TO HOLD THE GUITAR STRAIGHT UP. When that happens, the crowd goes WILD and the reverb goes ALSO WILD. Sometimes I reserve Star Power for the climactic parts of the song, just because it sounds so much better that way. Sometimes I'm a huge dork.

Overall, Guitar Hero is a must-own for the PS2. Also, they have a red controller available on their website. It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

Ha ha ha ha ha! It's funny because it's an 80's movie reference!!

Labels: Playstation 2, Reviews