Today's top story: wild alligators on the loose.



Today was the day for Wii preorders, according to EBGamestopGeneralElectricKmart. I am ALL for preorders. I know what it's like to run around like an idiot.

I had the perfect plan. It was the perfect, a perfect, a perfect, a perfect, a perfect, a perfect, a perfect, the perfect plaaaaaaaan. I would show up early. Nobody would show up early, right? Not in this small town! No way! Not at all!

Of course people will show up early. It's Nintendo. I figured an hour early should be enough, right?

At around 8am this morning, I set up my little. camping kit.


(Pictured: DS Lite, a memory card case filled with DS games, and a Victory Smartie. Not Pictured: Camera, and the elroyPod.)

I was amped. I was charged. I was stoked. I was ready.

I arrived at EBGames at 9:07am, 53 minutes before opening. There were about 12-14 people in line. I stood at the back of the line, queue'd up some Decemberists on the ol' elroyPod, and got to waiting.



After about 20 minutes, a guy steps out of the store with a clipboard. I squealed a little on the inside. A clipboard means justice. He began taking names from the people at the front of the line, when I hear this:

SOME GUY: I'd better get on the ^#$%# list, I've been here since 4 in the morning!

4 IN THE MORNING?!?!?! How am I supposed to compete with that?!

After a couple names are written down, he turns to the rest of us, and I know what's coming. He's got that look that the ride operators have on their face when the rides break down.

EBGUY: I have some bad news. We only have 10.

Great for everyone else, not so great for mister 15th-in-line. He kindly re-directs us all to another store, which I totally decide to not visit because i have four people ahead of me.

Is this the end of our tale? Will my Victory Smartie go UNOPENED?!

No, it won't! I take this as a hint to drive to an EBGames in a totally OPPOSITE direction. I'm excited, so of course I make 15000000 wrong turns along the way. I get there, and am greeted with a crowd of about 20 people, at another store with only 10 preorders. That Smartie is burning a hole in my pocket, so I drive to another store.

When I arrive at the third EBGames, this is what I see:



"HAHAHA!" I exclaim to myself. "THE LINE IS REALLY SHORT!"

If you'll notice, the guy on the far right brought a TV. What you DON'T know is that he also had Guitar Hero plugged into it. Clearly this was a sign! Clearly this was meant to be!

ME: IS THIS THE WHOLE CROWD?
GUITAR HERO GUY: What?
ME: FOR THE PREORDERS
GUITAR HERO GUY: Oh, those are already gone.
ME: . . .

At this moment, I see about five people walk out of the store, grinning and clutching their preorder receipts in their grubby claws. Okay, that's not entirely fair. But they were huge jerks, probably.

Right around then I started to feel a little discouraged. I was about to give up, when I remembered that there was a GameStop in the mall adjacent to this little minimall.

I'm up for an exercise in futility every once in a while, so I decide to go. I forgot where the store was in the mall, so I ended up parking on the completely wrong side. This caught my eye:



After trudging to GameStop, I noticed it was about 10:15. "No way," I said. "No chance."

I arrive to a line of about 15 people. Nobody's saying anything, I don't see any lists, nothing. I decide to stand in the line, because what else am I going to do? People at the front of the line keep leaving happily with receipts, like this guy's back:


LOL I PREORDERED A WII

I'm busying myself with taking humorous photographs:


LOL I'M 12 AND I'M A MANAGER

As I stand there, I wonder: will my dreams of preordering be...flushed away?



By the way, in the midst of all this, in the middle of a phone call, my cell phone decides to stop working. The only thing that works now is the little joystick, and it just dials the number 6. I can't even answer calls.

It's been about a half hour now, I'm thirsty, I'm angry at my cell phone, I'm mad that I've been carrying around my DS all day and I haven't used it at all, I'm mad that this is my fourth store, and I'm mad that all of a sudden I realize that they have a list of names from earlier in the day.

When I get up closer:

ME: Do...I have to be on the list?
GAMESTOP GUY: [checks] No, you should be fine.
ME: What spot am I?
GAMESTOP GUY: 21.
ME: How many are you getting?
GAMESTOP GUY: 30.

YES! FINALLY! A RAZZ-A-MA-TAZZ-A-LA-WAM-BAM-DIGGITY! (lame)

I preordered a lot of things there. A Wii, an extra controller, some product replacement thing--I might have preordered Reggie Fils-Aime. I was so excited. Still mad about the phone, but excited. I was now the proud owner of a receipt. It was now 11:15.

And the Smartie of Victory was delicious.

Labels: Nintendo Wii